With me wherever I go.

I carry him with me wherever I go.  Sometimes I don't even know he is there, and sometimes he is all I see.  Sometimes when I am not paying much attention to him I feel guilty.  And in the times when he consumes me, I feel guilty for letting him consume me again.  I didn't ask him to join my life, he was forced upon me.  I wish he would leave and never come back but unfortunately aside from death nothing will ever separate us.  He is ugly and mean and he brings out the worst in me.  He devastates my days and ruins my nights.  He brings me shame and guilt and he turns me away from the wife, mother, sister, and friend I am called to be.  He is an intruder in my life and he is here to stay.  His name is grief and he is with me wherever I go.

He carries me wherever I go.  Sometimes I don't even realize He is there and I know He is all I really need to see.  He is always paying attention to me and for that I have now no condemnation.  I need Him to consume me again, and again, and again.  I asked Him into my life, He was never forced upon me although He was always there.  I am so happy He is with me and so grateful that nothing can separate us, not even death.  He is beautiful and kind and brings out the best in me.  He calms my days and comforts my nights.  He gives me righteousness and peace and teaches me how to be the kind of wife, mother, sister, and friend I am called to be.  He is the redeemer of my life and He is here to stay.The more I look at Him who carries me the easier it is to deal with him who is always with me.  His name is Jesus and He is with me wherever I go.