What NOT to say.

Today I am using this blog as a tool to vent.  I am so happy I have a safe place where I can speak my heart and no one will be offended.  That being said please no one get offended.
There are certain things you should not say to people during there time of misery, especially those whose misery is caused by the death of a child.  A lot of times people need to just vent, hence this post, so don't try to give words of comfort or understanding.   Sometimes they just need to hear wow, sorry and I will pray.  There are certain things that we don't want to hear.

1. Anything about God's will.  No body will ever be able to convince me that it was God's for my child to be sick and die.  His will is for life which is why His son came and died.  God is not the type whose will  is for a mother to watch her son suffer tragically for years and then die in her arms at 11 yrs. old.  Art least not any kind of God that I would be able to serve.  However I do believe that God's will is to turn tragic things into beautiful things. He says He will make all things work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose. Which is everyone so take your blessing people.

2.  God does not give you more than you can handle.  To me this old saying evokes 2 responses in me.  The first is well I am not handling this then.  My child died.  How in the world would I be able to handle it???  I know how I feel inside which is out of control and crazy so when you say to me I won't get more than I can handle it makes me want to punch you. However I never would, I hope.  There are some things that are dealt to us in this life which are just more than we ourselves can handle.  Which brings me to my next thought, God does give us more than we can handle.  Well God may not give us more than we can handle but life does, He says so in His word.  The God I serve doesn't want me to try and handle things on my own.  That is when He knows I will get into trouble.  Why because He knows how He made me.  He knows He created our bodies to live forever, and when sin entered man our bodies became subject to physical death.  ( ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” Gen. 2:17)  Isn't it crazy to think that if Adam and Eve had not eaten from the tree our bodies would live forever.  This is why I believe grief is the most unnatural emotion our bodies can handle.  We weren't made to die so we certainly weren't made to handle it when someone we love dies.  But God does say He will deal with it for us if we let Him.  His word says , “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  He also tells us ,"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  And there are so many others that prove to me God doesn't want me to handle my problems, He wants to handle them for me. 


3. My final stupid thing people say for today is one that seems to evoke the most rage in me. When people say at least you still have Nate and Liyah, or well think about Nate and Liyah, or you have to go on for Nate and Liyah.  No freakin duh people.  I bet I know and appreciate the importance of them in my life even better than most people.  I would have to say that until you have lost something so precious in your life, you can't really, really see how important the people arethat you do have.  I am not saying someone has to die for you to appreciate the people in your life, I am just saying when it does happen it makes you realize it and appreciate it in a whole new way.  So trust me people, I wake up every morning and go on because I get to see there faces and hug them and kiss them and serve them.  But I also go on because God calls me too.  And I go on serving and loving Him because I know He is the only way I will get to hug and kiss and see the face of my beautiful boy who I lost much to soon in this world.  


So let's recap, God's will is for life and not death or sickness, He does give you more than you can handle but will not give you more than He can handle, and I sill love and appreciate Liyah and Nate and realize how important they are in my life.